HOPEful girl

It's been a busy month.  Never move around the holidays! The end of this month's blog. So after much deliberation , searching near and far across the island, ok well maybe not across the WHOLE island but across a few cities, searching homes, we finally decided to move into a rental RIGHT across the street from where we already are.  Not exactly the move across the ocean like we did 3 years ago, so it was bit easier and grateful to be settled for now. This move found me reflecting since its  been 3 years since we moved from California, reflecting on the times I spent in this first residence in Hawaii.  I was such a different person then.  That home was definitely a place of transition.    Its  easy to latch on to things or places where we make memories mistaking them for a part of who we are.  But its important to remember that's  just  what they are, just things or places and not who we really are.   These things will ...

We always begin our introductions in Celebrate Recovery , with 'Hi my name is ________ and I'm a grateful believer in Jesus Christ who struggles with _ (insert addiction or hang-up) _____'.   This is important because we first place our identity in Jesus Christ, who we are, as His children rather than  our addiction, hang up or sin.  We are His beloved children first and this gives Jesus all the power over our struggle.  Yet notice the word, grateful.  So I'm thinking, to be grateful or gratefulness  must be an important part of healing if we are to begin our introduction with that as well. David illustrates this so well in Psalm 6:2, 'Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint; O Lord, heal me, for my bones are in agony”.  We can boldly pray to God for healing because our creator is the Great physician and can bring wholeness and healing to anybody.  But whether He heals in this life or life to come, we must first give him thanks before we ca...

Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me!  If you don't know by now or haven't read my earlier blogs commenting on birthdays,  I fully embrace my birthday.    Most people, as they get older and especially us women, (yes sorry sisters I have to call you out) dread birthdays.   But I choose to celebrate it just as I did when I was a little kid.  To do anything otherwise,  is the very thing that ages you.  So stop worrying and dreading and come celebrate with me.  So what is there to celebrate?  Another year of life God has given you, your growth in wisdom,  another year closer to going to our real home with Jesus, and another chance to do better.  For me, its all of the above, and I will add another year of sobriety.   And presents! Don't you just love presents?! I was blessed to get some pretty good ones this year.   Our mighty God has also given us so many gifts.  Everyday I make sure to enjoy the o...

With all of the boy's schedules school, after school  activities, parent night, picture day, my husband's unstable academy schedule, the launch of celebrate recovery and keeping up with the demands of my own job its a little hard not to feel overwhelmed these days.   Don't get me wrong, I am forever grateful for the life I'm blessed with.   Yet, I must remember to work on my own recovery and take time for prayer and meditation.  I'm in the middle of our church 21 day fast and as I've given up social media taking the time for prayer and journal, I hope this will help with just that.   It is in those moments, I take delight in the Lord, but its also  in those  busy or mundane moments it gets to be a challenge. I was fortunate to have some respite time as my parents visited me recently.   Since we left all of our family in California when we moved to Hawaii, its always so exciting when family comes to visit.   Its also been a while since ...

I'm just going to give a brief testimony of what's been going on in my so called, Hawaii hectic life. This month , I've been adjusting to a new schedule.  Since I've lost my in -home nanny (aka stay at home full time dad and husband) who's decided to abandon us, the kids and I,  for a much more exciting life to become Hawaii's finest,   most of the home duties have been left to this working mom.   Honestly, I couldn't be prouder of him.   He's half way through academy and on his way to becoming what he's been called to do.  And now I really know what it was like for my parents who both worked and especially my mom who did the same thing, working full time, while still providing for her kids, cooking breakfast and dinner every day,  while keeping us and the whole  house clean.  They just don't make 'em like they used to.  Whatever my apprehensions may be, I welcome this new season with open arms.  I  cherish the brief ...

For some time now and since I moved here I've been taking advantage of the beautiful lagoons nearby.  Its calm waters make it the  perfect spot to swim laps and for me to get in a good swim work out in the morning before I 'm off to work.   I'm not the only one.  In fact, I've made a few friends with a group of locals who do the same thing, mostly retired men whom I fondly call the shark club.   A few years ago, one of these men took it upon himself to set up a line of rocks along the  floor of the lagoon traversing from one end of the lagoon to the other.   This serves as our lane marker so we know to swim in a counter clock wise fashion that prevents us all from crashing into each other.   I usually do these swims in the summer months when the sun rises earlier because it allows me to swim early enough before work with some day light.   I head out about 530 just before the sun comes up.  Sometimes I'm the first one there, but m...

Summer is here! Remember when you were a kid and you actually had a summer break?  I envy my teacher friends at this time.  My two youngest sons are currently on the mainland spending time with family for the summer.  My oldest teenage son is left behind to discover his own summer adventures before starting high school.  My husband is deep into the rigors of training and studies at the Honolulu police academy.   And me?  Well I've been blessed to get a little time off, been able to get in some bonding time with my oldest before he starts high school. One of our favorite things to do together is go hiking.  Living in Hawaii, going on a hike that includes waterfalls is a must.   On our last hike, I added a new word to my vocabulary--flume.    A flume is a man made channel of water used to transport materials from one location to another like logs or mining materials.  Apparently, flume is also the name of an Australian ele...

Once upon a time, there lived a man who was a loving husband and father.  For a long time, he wanted to go into law enforcement.  He felt like this was what he was supposed to do, not only to experience the thrill of detaining a harmful suspect to protect the innocent or  perhaps to get caught up in the excitement of a hot pursuit speeding car chase, but also really because he felt called to minister to this special group of souls both police officers and victims alike who so badly need  some light in their lives.   This man would marry a lovely woman at a time when she  was in the middle of training to become a doctor.  After their second child,and working different jobs, it was time for her to start residency which would involve long hours.  After realizing his paychecks were just enough to support the kid's day care, they both decided  He would support the family by staying home and raising their boys.  He was so great at this. ...

        I have this horrible hang nail on my right forefinger that seemed to develop an ugly life of its own and formed into a painful tiny abscess.  Ok, I might have contributed a bit by yanking that  piece of skin off.  I knew I should not have done it, but I didn't expect it to be this bad.  It has caused the tip of my finger to become red and swollen as I now have 'sausage finger'.  I know there are people on this earth dealing with much worse;  cancer, the loss of loved one, depression.  I myself have dealt with much worse than this dumb hang nail, 3 C- sections, appendectomy , small bowel obstruction , my addictions AND  I ran 2 marathons, but this hang nail thing is really annoying!  I can't write that long in my journal without getting pain radiating up my arm.  And if I accidentally barely bump my finger just on that spot, YOWSERS! (insert expletive $@#!) I wear a band aid so no one would  see it, ...

      Our family recently made a trip back to the ‘mainland’, as  I have now grown accustomed to calling our former home in California since living here in Hawaii now for a little over two years.  We visited family and friends  and over all, it was a nice vacation.  While at Disneyland, my oldest and  privileged  son to have been there many times before commented that it seemed  a little different to him.   I turned to him and said  of course, its because you’re growing up.  Its never the same as when you were little.  This year,  I've been reading the Bible one year plan in chronological order.  Sounds exciting huh? Well, it actually has been. I've read the Bible from cover to cover before with other one year plans.  Its been awhile since.  Each time I do, I now find that  I learn  something different that I never did before.   You'd think the Old Testament wouldn't apply so...

          Even though,  this is the month of a highly  commercialized holiday,  a holiday that doesn't have any biblical background, a holiday that just happens to be another one of those celebrations in history that was 'Christianized' in an attempt to win over some pagans and their hedonistic rituals, a holiday that just depresses people who are single as they are reminded of their lonely state and stresses out couples  as they are feel pressured to please their counterparts to a materialistic and shallow standard.  Despite all this, I choose to rise above all that and can't help but reflect on love.   I feel compelled to share what God has been speaking to me these past days about love. When I was a little girl, although the strong, independent woman in me is reluctant to admit this, that I, not unlike any other little girls,  used to dream about  meeting my Prince Charming one day just like in the storybooks or...