Open ocean

For some time now and since I moved here I've been taking advantage of the beautiful lagoons nearby.  Its calm waters make it the  perfect spot to swim laps and for me to get in a good swim work out in the morning before I 'm off to work.   I'm not the only one.  In fact, I've made a few friends with a group of locals who do the same thing, mostly retired men whom I fondly call the shark club.   A few years ago, one of these men took it upon himself to set up a line of rocks along the  floor of the lagoon traversing from one end of the lagoon to the other.   This serves as our lane marker so we know to swim in a counter clock wise fashion that prevents us all from crashing into each other.   I usually do these swims in the summer months when the sun rises earlier because it allows me to swim early enough before work with some day light.   I head out about 530 just before the sun comes up.  Sometimes I'm the first one there, but most often, I find John (one of the sharks) already at his place in his beach chair with cup of coffee in hand.   'Go warm up the water for me' he tells me so he can finish his cup before he joins me shortly after.   I really don't mind the company as I head out in a barely lit lagoon.  Later, the rest of the 'sharks' join in the fun making sure they get their hugs and greetings in when I come to the end of my lap.  They tell me I swim like a fish.
When I start swimming my laps at this hour, I can barely see the line of rocks below me.  I can only see shadows mostly.  Sometimes the line disappears as the water gets murky, but I try not to stray knowing its still there and as long as I keep swimming straight, it will appear again before me.   As the sun comes up, it gets really interesting.  The rays stream in shedding light on the ocean floor and all kinds of sea life, fish, turtles appear.  Its almost like a tiny reward for me sticking it out and continuing on my swim.
This month I spent  preparing to swim my first open ocean swim.   Up until this point in my life, I owe my swim skills to two people.  First, to Miss Sally the swim teacher that my parents sent me to at the age of 5 before our big summer vacation at Pismo Beach.  Then I  took a 'swim for fitness' class in college.  I thank my class instructor  for helping me solidify my form.   I never swam competitively, but I always considered myself a swimmer as I love to be in the water.  I continued to use swimming as a form of exercise and work outs whenever I had the access to a body of water, like a pool or now these days the calm lagoons on the Leeward side of Hawaii.  My first ocean swim is on the Winward side, the North Shore where the waters are not so calm even in the summer months.  That morning, I was very nervous and excited, but I figured if I can swim 1.7 miles doing laps back and forth in the lagoon, then I can certainly handle this. It was a new adventure.  And guess what? I ran into one of my lagoon 'sharks' on the bus on the way to the starting point.  There were many swimmers there, and I was excited to be a part of this new community. We all made our way into the water between the buoys as the start time got close.  The gun marked the start.  Now I'm not a fast swimmer, but I can swim for a long time.  Immediately, I see the swimmers race pass in front of me.    This open ocean was a little more lively than the calm lagoon so it took me awhile to get my pace.  I didn't get maybe 300 yards before I started to panic.  I kept breaking out of my freestyle stroke to pop my head up to look around just to get my bearings.  Every time I turned to my right to get my breath , there was a wave headed towards me.   Fortunately there were enough paddle boarders out there to guide me.  Still, I was out of breath and I was ready to wave to one of them to take me back into shore.  One of them must have seen the panic and uncertainty in my eyes.  He called out to me, 'you just have to keep going.'  I think he meant that I just had to keep swimming to get past this rough part and continue on ahead.   And so I did, I calmed my breathing, envisioned myself back at the calm lagoon and then I eventually found my pace.  And it was great! I enjoyed the beautiful scenery of coral and fish below me.   I guess I was having so much fun that I started to veer off course.  They had to guide me back on course reminding me to watch for the buoys.  Once I saw them I was back on track.   Then I was surrounded by a couple of other lagging swimmers like me and I really knew I was on the right path.   And just when I felt like I'd been swimming forever, I was almost there at the finish line, feeling the waves in between each stroke push me back to shore. And wouldn't you know it, I was blessed by another surprise.  I could here a familiar voice cheering my name from the shore.  My good friends, Ema and Tony were there for me, the last swimmer closing out the race.

Lots of opportunities on the horizon for me.
Looking for a house proves very stressful but when I'm uncertain about the future I think about the line of rocks at the lagoon.  God will be my line of rocks guiding me even when I don't see it. I know He will be there to provide.  Especially since because he has so many times before.
The vision of Celebrate Recovery ministry at our church is vey exciting as parts are slowly coming into play.  The leaders and I have faith that God will use this ministry to reach out to others with struggles in addiction, hurts or hang ups.
And if I didn't hear what God was teaching me in this great experience of the open ocean swim, then I had the message I heard in church the next day to remind me.  
Lessons I learned:
1.   Even though I was scared and I couldn't fully see where I was going, it was my hope and faith in God that carried me to the finish line.   I chose to keep going in those scary waters and God was there like he promises to always be with us.  Are you in a rough patch of water? or feel like you are caught in the waves? It can be scary but with the God of the universe at our side, we are safe. 
2.  We need a frame of reference when we drift away from God's path.  If you are unsure of something or going through a hard right now, think about your frame of reference.  Is Jesus, the buoy in your ocean or are you letting the waves around you toss you aside?
3.  We can't control outcomes, but we can control our outlook.  As soon as I got my stride despite the waves around me, I was able to  enjoy the ocean wonders below me.  Whatever happens in our house hunting, I will remember that when God closes a door, it just means there's something better waiting for us ahead.
4. You're not alone.  Thank you Jesus for my paddle boarder guides , other lagging swimmers and friends at the finish line!   God will use people in our life to encourage us especially when we can't see the outcome. 
thank you for reading -Grateful believer in Jesus Christ, sober for 2 years,  hopeful for another sober ocean swim.

And now I'll share with you the song that I heard 2 years ago after I made the best decision in my life.  I HOPE it speaks to you too.