40 days

   

     I  used to wonder why some people, especially women stress so much over birthdays.   After all, this is the one day you get to have for yourself, something to celebrate and yet some people freak out like it's the end of the world. I've always looked  forward to birthdays especially my own.  These people really need to get over it. What's the big deal?  I know its gender and culturally influenced.  This country especially just loves to hold on to youth.  Its ridiculous really. Then one day while I was seeking the counsel of a wise woman , aka getting my hair done, my hair stylist pointed out that birthdays especially milestone birthdays are a time when people tend to reflect on their life, past achievements or lack there of and unrealized goals   It is a time when physical ailments and limitations, death and loss of loved ones start to appear. It is at time one is confronted with the reality of the brevity of life.  It is a time to question one's own fulfillment, assessing life dreams while facing the impending doom of their own mortality.  Ok, so maybe it is a big deal.  

    So here I am exactly 40 days from my 40th birthday.  But don't worry, I'm not going to do what you all think I'm going to do and FREAK OUT!   Birthdays mean something different to everyone depending at what point they are in their life.  I believe that one's own view about aging has a lot to do with it.  The whole subject really fascinates me especially now.  But instead of freaking out, I'm going to start by celebrating now.   

    I decided to take this  40 day journey leading up to my birthday to not only better myself but become  less of myself which is what I think you're supposed to do as you get older.   During the next 40 days, I vow to seek something positive from each day.  I will also participate in a fast. I'm actually doing a 21 day fast with my church. This means giving up something I really enjoy and replacing it with time spent with God in devotional.  And I will document what I've learned on this blog.  I decided to take this journey to celebrate not only my impending reality of my own mortality, but to celebrate life and getting older,  to celebrate those that came before me, filled with more wisdom because I value wisdom and age.  I believe getting older doesn't have to be all doomsday and dismal.  I really don't know what will come of all this? I don't know what will happen to me or those around me.  I just felt called to take this journey.  I also got the inspiration from something  I saw on Facebook (shocker).   I think it will also help me deal with my own assessment of life fulfillment and unrealized goals.   I may also want to write a book someday and this is just me testing the waters. My husband thinks I can write a book, that supportive love bug of mine but we'll get to him later.  And I have to say this isn't very easy for me. I'm usually a very private person. This is definitely me stepping out of my comfort zone. 
   
     I know, I know. Everyone older than me is probably thinking, really? 40 is nothing, wait til you get my age.  Like I said, I'm not freaking out, just taking a time out to number my days, give thanks to the good Lord above for where I am now and maybe gain a bit wiser.  Feel free to share your insights below. 

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.--Abraham Lincoln