40 days to 40. day 8

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    Today was pretty routine for me until the last few hours of it.  Then it was pretty much like that rainbow mountain in the picture you see.  I had my up and I had my down.  Let's start with the down. I can't go into too much detail here to protect the names of those involved.   I think you'll still get the point.    So the downer was when  I felt accused of not accepting or liking a certain person.   I say, 'I felt' because this person didn't out right say 'hey, why don't you like and accept this person, everyone else does?'  They didn't say it in those words exactly, but in my interaction with them today, this is how I felt.   I immediately felt upset and disappointed.  How dare they?!  How dare they accuse me of not liking or accepting them? even shunning them?!  Why would they think they are being singled out or not treated fairly?  What have I ever done to make them feel that way? Well, that's just it. That's what I had to ask myself.  It didn't even occur to me that maybe I did do something to make them feel that way and I never even realized it.  OR maybe I haven't done enough?  Anyway, it was just one of those moments that made me stop and think and take a look at myself before lashing out.   I pray to God for His guidance in this area of my life.  To be continued....
   On the upside,  I had a wonderful first meeting with my new women's group at the new church I attend.  Since, the day I accepted Christ, I've been blessed to be surrounded by loving people and knowing the importance of getting together in small groups. Lord knows that I can't do this alone!   God calls us to be in community with each other as brothers and sisters in Christ.  I encourage you to join a small group or even start one if already attending a church.  
     This time of fasting, reading the Bible and making myself vulnerable in writing this blog has not been easy.  If it was up to me, it would be all about happy songs, good times, funny stories and pumpkin recipes.  But that is not what I am being led by God to do (at the moment anyway).  It is His Holy Spirit that inspires me to do this.  And in doing that, I actually find joy and peace.  So I will continue to press on and make a joyful noise unto the Lord! 



Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty--they merely move it from their faces into their hearts.   ---Martin Buxbaum

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