HOPEful girl

  Write about something you're hoping for this year. My hope for this year was not much unlike my hope for last year and can be described in this quote from one of my favorite series and author.   'I want to see mountains again, Gandalf, mountains! and find a quiet place to finish my book'  Is it strange I want to be a Hobbit? just to escape the crowds, schedules and live simply for awhile. To do nothing but read, eat and yes, finally finish my book. I do hope I get this respite, but also to be inspired and encouraged by the conferences I have coming up this year-Christian Medical Dental Association conference in April,  Medical evangelism reunion in July, and the Women and Physicians and Dentists in Christ conference in September.  I hope to run our local  Pineapple 10 K run this year with my son, but what was it that Paul wrote to Timothy?   Physical training is good , but training for godliness is much better so I hope to grow and mature in Chr...

  Write about something you're unsure about right now.  My book is not finished yet.  I have an outline so there is some form, but I just need to be disciplined to work on it.  Once the manuscript is done, not sure where to go from there, self publish, hope books or present it to my friends publishing company?  I need to remind myself why I am writing it in the first place-for my own validation and glory? or for God.  I pray that someone else will be blessed and transformed by it. But I want it to be successful. However what does that success look like?  and how does it all fit into my day job.

  Write about something you're grateful for today. Today, I am grateful for social media, despite the fact that it's distracting at times and takes me away from more important things I should be doing, like writing.  For today, without social media, I would not have been able to meet up with my friend from  my high school cross country team.   She and her husband came to Hawaii for vacation and she being the runner participated in a half marathon on Oahu where I live.  As soon as I saw her post I looked up the race she would run in and immediately connected with her.   Then I thought , why should she have all the fun and signed up for the race too.  Although mine was the 5K.  She'd be running the half marathon. My friend was always the stellar runner.   It was such a blessing to meet up with her and her husband at the starting line, thirty plus year since we've last seen each other.   Her husband, who was also on our high school tea...

  Write about something you been avoiding thinking about. I wrote in my journal today.

  Write about something you're learning right now--even if you feel behind.  This is a skill I've been striving for since I started my career in medicine, so I feel like I'm always trying to improve on this.   That is the skill of incorporating my faith into my practice.   Recently I've came across a new tool to help me  with just that.  It is the book 'Healing Purpose' -finding satisfaction in a health care career, by Mark Topiazin.  This book offers some great methods that I am trying to incorporate in my own practice.   I feel like I'm becoming more proficient at taking a spiritual history, but would love to take it a step further and ask more meaningful questions to get a good assessment at where my patient is at spiritually.  Yesterday, I took some of the methods, questions and incorporated into my medical charting system so I can be ready with questions during these encounters. 

  Write about a time you felt in the dark and what helped you through.  I was stuck in the darkness of my addiction for so long.  It took a couple of low points, a husband who never gave up on me, a move to another state,  a christian based 12 step program (celebrate recovery) to help me through into the light.  God used all of this in His grace and mercy to save me.  He also saved me from a couple of close calls from the consequences of my behaviors.  It could have been worse.  But I don't have to live in the dark anymore and  love to help others who are stuck in the darkness.  I was like  Max in Stranger Things when she was under Vecna's spell in the upside down and she could see the way out in the distance.  That was me sometimes slowly walking to the light, but in the end running toward that light as I can hear the music of God's voice of truth and encouragement. 

  Write about a time you did something afraid.  There is no turning back now.  My dearest loved ones were counting on me.   I've come so far, but I am not ready even though I've known this has been a long time coming.  It is now here-residency.  The time hardest stage in training to become a doctor.   The fear of not being enough heavy upon me driven by my struggles to pass the boards, rotations, not to mention leaving my young family behind.    I'm not good enough.  Do I really know what I'm doing? The fear of responsibility over these human souls is great and looming over me as I start my first day. Lord, just let me not kill anyone today I handed my newborn second son over to my husband who has been my constant support and will continue to be in these hard upcoming years.  I completed my first day. As I get to hold my baby boy again, I try to calculate in my head- How many more days do  I have left?