A Crown for you, NOT Corona.

I still love running for staying healthy and the way it makes my body feel,  but its hard to stay motivated when there are no running events to train for.  And with the covid surge happening in our state now, I don’t see any events happening anytime soon. 

 So the other day, I came up with a reward for myself at the end of my run. If I can make it over 6 miles, I will give my self a break by the ocean to enjoy the view. 

Or I’ll allow myself to run at a slower jogging pace or jump in the ocean for a swim. 

I returned to my celebrate recovery meetings and met with my new group this past week on zoom, not the ideal way, but it was nice to see everyone’s faces without a mask.  We were without our masks literally and figuratively, because that is where we can share honestly without being judged.

I’ve recently discovered a passion for bible journaling!  What is bible journaling you ask? Well I’m hoping my pictures explain, but its a creative way of getting into the word, using different mediums, but mostly sketching and drawing directly in your bible.  I’ve seen a friend from church once with these most amazing, artistic beautiful pictures in her bible. I never thought of doing that to a bible.  I don’t consider myself the artistic type, but this has certainly brought out a creative side that I enjoy.  First, I started seeing these posts about it in my instagram feed.  Then I tried it out a little bit with the Bible I already had for awhile. I feel especially led to drawing images from science and anatomy, as this is my line of work. I appreciate God’s design in everything including biology and the human body.   He is integrated in every aspect of our life this way.  And this reminds me of how God wants to be involved in everything we do.  

So now I’m starting to see how this crafty thing can be a slippery slope.   I have now entered a world full of brush pens, gelatos and washi tapes.  I see different types of lettering fonts and brush strokes in signs  everywhere I go. 

I am careful not to get caught up in the craft part of it. By looking at pinterist app, that is easy to do. 

Rather, I make it a point to really get into the word first and study it before I get into the creative part of doodling and drawing.  That’s my reward so to speak.    That is also the time when I will get inspired by some image or vision that applies. 

So I will share with you,  the three bible verses that spoke to me this past month and inspired me to create and how God used that to speak his message to me. 

You can still bible journal without getting the special bible for it, but I wanted to get a specific bible journal, with wide margins, just for this.  So I was super excited when I finally got my new Reflections bible delivered.  Before actually getting into the text, or meaty part of the bible,  I wanted to decorate the dedication/ name page so I reflected on verses that had to do with my identity in Christ or how God sees me. There are a lot of great ones out there. And this one really spoke to me. 

You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. —Psalm 139:16

A long time ago in a galaxy far away.  Well maybe not so far away, but long before I was born, and before I was a twinkle in my daddy’s eye, God knew my whole life. And way before you were born, God knew you.  I am not a mistake! You are not a mistake! He has total control over my plans for my life.   He had a plan for our lives.  This just blows my mind! 

Even up until now, during this time of covid.  And my story is still being written.  I am his creation, called to love him, called to be in relationship with Him, called to get to know him.  We are called to get to know him through his word.  Bible journaling is just one way for me to do that and a way to spend time with my Abba Father for wisdom, guidance, peace and rest.  Thank you Jesus for your word, let this be the beginning of a new chapter in your book, where I can continue to seek you in these moments. 

 

Next,

I wanted to reflect on my first memory verse. 

I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.  -Psalm 119:11

This was the first verse I memorized from the bible.  It was not long after I came to accept Christ in my heart at the church I was attending at the time.  This church had established a program or ‘survival tool kit’ for new believers.  I was led by my good friends, from the church who would shepard me into  this new life in Christ.  There were other memory verses in the tool kit, but this one stuck with me.  

It stresses the importance of the Bible and God’s word in this new life in Christ.   It encourages me to study the word, but what does it mean to ‘hide’ it in my heart?  The human heart is a strong muscular organ at the core of your body.   It filters and pumps  blood throughout the body.   We can not live without this important organ.  To hide God’s word in your heart is to make it a part of your core.  It is to make it so much of who you are that you can not live with out it.  It is to make it a part of your will and actions.  God’s word is to study, but also to obey.  It is to be hidden in our heart so it can pump out to the rest of our lives in obedience to him. 

Dear God, may you always keep the rhythm of my heart beating for you! 

And finally, a verse that stood out durning my pastor’s sermon as we were reading the third chapter of Revelations. 

I am coming soon. Hold on to what you have, so that no one will take away your crown.  Rev 3:11

I remember walking across the college campus at Cal Poly when a girl who I never met before walked up to me and asked me right out, ‘Are you saved?’  Looking back I find this tactic of street evangelism too blunt and abrasive, like can I get a hello first?    Anyway, when I heard this, 'Are you saved?',  I thought ‘how dare she? ‘What gave her the right to ask such a personal question!  But the fact was, I didn’t even know the answer to that question. It sounded like I should know? and what gave her the certainty, the audacity to assume she was saved?  Later on I would come to know what this being ‘saved’ business meant. By accepting Jesus Christ into my heart, repenting of my sins, I was saved.  Never did I have to question this again. 

Until…

This verse came to me and got me stuck. Then it took me down this theological rabbit hole.  So here we are in the book of Revelation which is really the revelation of Jesus to the author, John.  The words  are in red so it must be Jesus speaking, right? But really, in this particular chapter we have Jesus speaking to several churches.  And in this verse, Jesus is speaking through John to the church in Philadelphia.  Jesus knew that this particular church was weakened by continual attacks from unbelieving and hostile Jews. Even so, they were faithful to God. Instead of Jesus saying take a breather, he’s challenging them to stand firm. 

When I first heard the verse, it sounded so nice and  encouraging. The thought of having a crown , this eternal life because I am saved by the blood of Jesus Christ.  I am encouraged to hold on to my faith despite the events that are going on around me. 

But wait, I must do this so no one will take my crown. Is that even possible? Can my salvation be taken away? Is it possible for a Christian to lose their salvation? Or once a person is saved, they are always saved?  This verse then seemed contradictory to me because in my all of my born again christian life, I’ve been hearing messages to the contrary.   Why is this important?  Well if a person lives on a ‘once saved, always saved’ mentality, then there is no reason to be good or do better.   On the contrary, one can live in fear that their salvation be taken away, always working on their own efforts to ‘keep’ their salvation.   And so lies the spiritual conundrum.  I just love that word, conundrum.   Anyway, So I decided to do a little research going to websites (biblestudytools.com) getbibleanswers.com, you version app, commentaries, YouTube videos on the subject,  And down the rabbit hole I go.  

There are  eight primary scriptures in the New Testament that support the idea of once saved, always saved (John 6:39, Romans 8:38, Hebrews 7:27 are just 3) and over 72 scriptures that support the idea that a person can lose their salvation including the one above (Matthew 24:10, Luke 8:12, Matthew 6:15).  

I am no theologian by any means.   I did a lot of reading and prayer, and I don’t know if I really came up with a clear answer. Or an answer that I was expecting  or that made sense of in my tiny mortal brain. 

And that’s how the Bible is sometimes.  It is not straightforward. It is not a simple manual or instruction book on life. It may contain contradictions, but I believe God wants to invite us in to His story and bring the questions to him.  

 So although, I might not have received a straight answer,  God did reveal to me some truths that helped me find SOME clarity on the subject and come to terms with my conundrum.  

Truth #1

We are all human and capable of sin. God didn’t make us to be his robots and can not force us to love and obey him.   Sin is what originally separated us before we were saved and unrepented sin after salvation is also what separates us from God.  -Matthew 23:37 

Truth #2

God always welcomes those who are willing to repent and return to God.  -Luke 15:24.  

Truth #3

Salvation is not a one time act,  What you do tomorrow matters. You are not done working for Christ

Hebrews 10: 26-27

Truth #4 God wants our hearts, not just works or acts.  God is looking for those who truly love him, follow him and want please him. -Matthew 7:21 

Truth #4 

God is for us and does not want to see us fail.  -Romans 8:31-37 

We must remember the context and the audience of this verse, originally.  Jesus was speaking to a church that was really doing good but was also getting beaten down. He was speaking to them in order to encourage. So no one will steal the crown.  The enemy will try but we must not let Him. The crown he is talking about here is not like a royal crown freely given, but a garland crown (like in my drawing), given as a reward, like the athletes win.

This tells me that he wants the best for us, not a life half lived. 

So we are to Run for the prize.  Like when I’m running for my prize.  From the first day I was ‘saved’ I have been on that journey.  And if you are uncertain of your salvation, you don’t have to be any longer. 

All you have to do is repent of your sins, or say you’re sorry to Jesus and accept Jesus into your heart as your savior, placing your trust in him. Only through Him can we know God and receive his love and forgiveness. 

So now we have received it, you can not lose it!  Jesus died to cover ALL of our sins, past and future. 

We must see our salvation as not a license to sin but a reason to praise God that God has chosen us. 

  We belong to God and are called by name. 

But you are witness, O Israel!’ Says the Lord.  You are my servant. You have been chosen to know me, believe in me, and understand that I alone am God. There is no other God —there never has been, and there never will be.  (Isaiah 43:10) 

So Hold on!  In the midst of this pandemic and chaotic world, HOLD ON!  Jesus is coming soon! To bring us a hope and a future.  So even now we can have hope   —> cling to Jesus, cling to truth, cling to faith.

Dear God, 

I am so blessed to be able to go down this rabbit hole with you because as I was trying to seek answers, you were surrounding me with your love.  And as life throws me questions, I will continue to seek you.  Help me to continue holding on and running for the prize. 

Amen! 

Thank you for letting me share. 

Sober for 1,876 days. Hopeful for another day more.