My three words

 

Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our inequities; the punishment that brought us peace was him, and by his wounds we are healed.  Isaiah 53: 4-5 

It was a Tuesday morning that started out like no other, routine for me, up at 5  am.  I venture out half a mile into my run, into the dark abyss of the world still asleep.   The cool air was on my back this Hawaiian winter morning.  I was now just getting  warmed up and my stride became light.  I was feeling hopeful, electronic playlist blasting in my ears, feeling fantastic, thinking, ’Maybe I can run that half marathon after all’. Then suddenly, I see a light flashing out in the horizon,  coming from one of the windows of the high rise ocean side resorts in the distance.  It looked peculiar, I thought as it stood out so much brighter than the other window lights. What is that? I wonder, when suddenly,  ‘OUCH!!!! What the fricker fracker!’ But it wasn’t fricker fracker  I said.   A huge rock, the size of a soft ball came up from under me, causing me to roll my left ankle.   As I was  thrown off my stride in searing pain, losing my balance, my legs convulsed in Elvis Presley dance  maneuver wobbling beneath me  in an attempt to keep from falling flat on my face.   I managed somehow to be successful at this, but not without much pain, anger and frustration.  I eventually gained my balance AND composure there on the curb,  expressed another expletive at that inanimate object before throwing it far away from me.  Then, I quietly shuffled back home in shame.  For the first time in my whole running life, I would not be able to finish the run I set out to do.  It would take days , weeks, of healing, icing before I can run again. 

The beginning of this year started out hopeful and I was feeling positive.  Then life threw some rocks in my path.   

For one, my best friend and sister in Christ, Bev passed away on January 2.  

OUCH! 

She lost her physical battle to cancer and returned home victorious to the arms of Jesus.  She was one of my biggest supporters of this blog.  She meant so much to me.  She was one of the first friends I made when I moved to Hawaii and I can still remember the exact moment I met her.  She was a greeter at church and her warm, friendly smile welcomed my husband and I with our boys that first day at Hope Chapel Kapolei.   At that brief moment, she  took me aside and told me that I was wearing my plumeria hair pin on the wrong side.   I had it on the right side, which meant I was single and it was supposed to be worn on the left side as I was married.   I thought, ‘what an odd thing to tell someone you just met?’  I guess she didn’t want anyone to think I was single and available.  Are desperately seeking men a problem at this church?   Anyway,  I would come to learn later as she led our ‘life group’- small group of women in our church who met weekly to fellowship and study the Word,  that this was just her nature, to look after others. She would later grow to be my spiritual ‘big sister’ definitely looking after me.   And Lord knows, that was exactly what I needed in that chapter of my life  when I first moved to Hawaii.   Our friendship would blossom.   She truly helped make Hawaii my home.  Flash forward to a couple of months ago, when our life group gathered together to celebrate October birthdays.  That’s me.   After the delicious feasting of our harvest potluck and birthday cake, we found ourselves gathered around worship music playing on our t.v.  singing and praising.  I couldn’t help but notice my friend, Bev caught up in the moment  in sincere worship and so was I, and thought this must be what heaven is like.   I was blessed to come to her  celebration of life ceremony this past week where I caught a glimpse of my dear friend’s life  through the eyes of others as people from her communities -family, church, work shared their favorite stories.  She meant a lot to so many people. I will miss her friendship, her texts, phone calls, her words of wisdom, her smile, our time at the great aloha run.   I will miss her so. 

Those that knew her will all miss her so much. ouch. 

Then, the news of the senseless killing of the two Honolulu police officers in Diamond Head shooting. 

OUCH! 

Then, the news of Kobe Bryant passing ,  including his daughter and others in the helicopter crash. OUCH! 

Suffice it to say, it has not been a great start to the year 2020! 

At our recent church leadership meeting, our pastor asked us to write three words that described our week and I can honestly say the words I wrote  actually  has described my past month: 

My three words were busy, painful and loved. 

Busy-I was thinking of work at the time, but business is the devil’s way of distracting us from what is most important.   If I wasn’t so distracted by that light shining in the distance, I would have been more focused on the path in front of me and could have avoided stepping on that rock and spraining my ankle.  Don’t be so busy that you get distracted.  There are always going to be tasks , focus on what is important —those closest around you and keep your relationships strong,  stay focused on the Word, spend time with God. In a world that is so busy ,come to the feet of Jesus who understands us above all. 

Painful- Much like my sprained ankle, 

The events of lost loved ones came unexpectedly, suddenly and painful. 

Loss, grief, can be painful and just like an injury, it takes time to heal. 

It is important to acknowledge the pain, stop, It may cause you to turn around on a different path. Its ok to cry. God brings healing in tears (Psalm 56:8)

Listen to what God is telling you in that moment. I had to listen to my body and rest my ankle.   And be ready for laughter, I’m sure I looked funny to a car passing by as I was trying to keep from falling. Sometimes when you least expect it, God pours out a release of joy that is appropriate and brings relief.  (Psalm 30:5) 

Loved- We have a loving father and I believe he does not like to see us suffer, but He will bring  the best out of any situation.   

I had a lovely visit with my dear life group sister friends who traveled from out of town four our friend's memorial service and  stayed with us.  I felt the love of Bev’s friends and family at her celebration of life ceremony. 

My ankle is finally healing, still sore but I’m back running! Hallelujah!  

Because our Father God sent His son to bear the pain,  we can turn to him in our pain and suffering. These events that happen in life, just doesn’t seem fair.  I wish I had more time with my friend.  How do we make sense of those  lives lost?  We live in a sinful world. And bad things happen. 

I know Bev  would tell me, there is a purpose and even though we might not see it, we must trust our abba father. I know that’s how she lived her life and even in her last dying moment, she surrendered everything to Him. He brought me through so much already and He won’t forsake me now in this next season in life.  Sometimes in our life group, Bev would pose a challenging question.   In the midst of my grief, I heard this.   It  was a challenge to carry my three words forward.  That is to reach out to someone who looks busy, overwhelmed maybe or hurting and make them feel loved.  I will boldly accept this challenge and get back to you in next month's blog.  I leave you with a song that was song at my friend's ceremony.  Please use it in a time to worship and meditate. 

Thank you for letting me share. 
-Hopeful girl Janette
Sober for 4 years, 6 months and 19 days, Hopeful for another day more.