As the rain comes down, the praise goes up

And after the rain comes beautiful greenery as you can see from the picture above.  I took this picture while I was out on one of my runs.  Whenever I am awed by an outdoor setting like this, I can't help but think of that song lyric from Hillsong's, so will I,  'if creation sings your praises, so will I'.
It reminds me that even in a world of uncertainty and turmoil, our God who created everything in the universe also created me as his own beloved.   So the only and most natural response would be to look up and give him praise for that.  There are many times we come to God when we're in desperation or in need, but often I forget to come to him in thanks when everything is all as it should be. 

We enter into the last quarter of the year and with that, we started the last quarter of my recovery step study.   I can't believe I've come this far to  step 10 in this biblical based program.   I started at the beginning of this year with a small group of women who have grown so close now.  It feels like just yesterday , I was making that first entry in my recovery journal, 'Its been over ten years since I first stepped into a Celebrate Recovery meeting', only to come back years later, after living in denial for so long.   Yes, I've come a long way and yet I feel like I've only scratched the surface of my recovery.    I've put the past of my drug and alcohol use behind me and yet, with each step I learn more about myself.   The underlying struggles are still there to be recognized and lifted up to God every day.  The struggle  is REAL! as they say these days.   And in the process,  my relationship with my creator grows stronger as relationships around me are renewed and new bonds formed in my recovery groups, sisters AND brothers.    

Lately, I think I've been struggling with pride or maybe forgetting to give thanks to God for all as it is. Work has been busy and overwhelming lately.   I sometimes wonder if I'm making a difference. Or does anyone see the work I do?  It would be nice to get some recognition, my voice heard or just a little validation of the work I put in.   It is these times I realize I am placing my significance in my work and past achievements and not in God.
This past month,  I was asked to share my testimony at church, one Sunday this month, not only once but at the 2 services.  This would be nothing new as I've already shared my testimony at Celebrate Recovery meetings.  As I prepared,  trying to condense into a short version, feelings of doubt, fear, shame and guilt crept in.   It was one thing to share in front of  my confessed brothers and sisters in my recovery community,  but this would be in front of the church, some people I may not know!  Would they judge?   I knew this was a full out spiritual assault  and immediately called upon my prayer warriors.    Texts from my life group and recovery sisters poured in praying for me.  My sponsor prayed with me.  And then my husband almost made me cry as he anointed me with oil and prayed over me that very morning.  Talk about being filled with the Holy Spirit!  Truly anointed to do what God had already prepared for me to do.  I felt I was being used by God as I shared my testimony that Sunday morning.  My prayer is that at least one person heard the message they needed to hear from God from my own mess.  And I could never forget the powerful prayers.

The verse above comes from a pretty powerful prayer.  Its Jesus praying to God toward the end of his ministry.  I invite you to take the time to read the whole chapter and really soak it in.  Its Jesus praying to God and He is also praying for you and me, for us!

“I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message".   -  John 17:20   

I see here how Jesus took  the time to give glory to God for everything He's done.  He comes to him not only in hours of desperation but for the good things.  He went to God for approval and connection.   I confess that when I get into that funky attitude that nobody cares or sees me,  I am a person reaching for approval of others in my successes or work.  Rather,  I pray that regardless of my work, or status, or highs or low,  or how my day is going that people I encounter would see God a little more clearly.

Its almost like those green hills and flowers,  giving God back the praise for the rain. I pray for the attitude  to praise God for no matter what season I  am in.   My significance is in my God. It reminds me that whatever I feel, I am not alone.


Then, God spoke to me again.  
I recently attended a Celebrate recovery leadership meeting organized by other leaders who participated in the national summit to bring back and share what they learned to others here on the island who did not get to go.  I was reminded of the unique position I am in every day.    I should not have to be reminded of the countless souls of hurting people I see every day.  It should not surprise me that the suicide rate is at its all time high in this country.   And I am all too familiar with the opioid addiction that continues to take people's lives too soon.   Many people are hurting and lost. There is a spiritual need that can not be ignored.  When I encounter that need,  I learn that God has put me in this place for a purpose.   Thank you Jesus for your lesson.  

Who do you turn to when things are going well or bad?   Do you place your worth in your own achievements or successes?   I know for a long time I did and just confessed that sometimes I still do. 
In everything, highs and lows, and everything we do, let's give  glory back to God.
Know that you don't have to work for God's love anyway.   He has loved us from the beginning of time.  God loves you and sent His son to die on the cross because of that.   John 3:16.  If you don't believe that just read it and I pray that you will invite Jesus into your heart if that's something you've never done before.   He sees you and you are so significant to Him! 

Thank you for letting me share. 

-Hopeful girl, Janette
-Sober for 1,176 days, hopeful for another day more.