Trust and Lean

I've been putting off writing this next blog. Sure I can blame it on the business of life but the truth is I've been waiting for something great or profound to be revealed to me, something great to say.  It hasn't come yet.  I may have reached a point that is not uncommon for those in recovery.   This is the point where the excitement of a new transformed life has dwindled a bit.  The momentum has slowed down.  The great revelations and 'aha' moments do not come freely , are few and get watered down by life.  Regardless,  I must stay true and accountable to my audience and for the three of you I am truly grateful.  It is your support that keeps me going!

I think I will just share what God is doing in my life and that should be enough anyway. I recently have had a couple of victories. First, I managed to take care of myself and my two sons for three weeks alone while my husband was away without sneaking a drink.  The next was being able to travel by myself to a beautiful island resort of all places without having some tropical aesthetically pleasing alcoholic drink. These were two opportunities my former self would have totally taken advantage of.  While on this trip to Kauai, I had the privilege to do a little hiking along the Kalalau trail. This is a trail on the north shore of the island outlining the famous Napoli coast with its spectacular cliffs drifting off into secluded beaches before reaching the crystal turquoise waters below--truly God's country.  As I started on the trail, I was anxious to get to the first scenic points to capture my post card pics.  The terrain was a little rocky with some slippery steps so I was sure to take each step with care on my way up the trail.  As I was a little pressed for time to get back, I picked up speed on my way back down the same path.  After all, I had already been this way before so I knew which steps to take that would ensure a good footing before proceeding to the next step below.  However, as soon as I felt myself glide down the trail at an effortless, comfortable pace, my foot would slide beneath me once it met a damp patch of terrain or loosened rock.   At which time, I would lose my balance and found it suddenly necessary to lean my body up agains the mountain wall to prevent myself from stumbling down the trail.  So there after, I would proceed with a little more caution as to avoid any slipping mishaps. 
Likewise, I must not get too overly confident in these victories, these times of overcoming a challenge along the trail as if it were my own achievement.  These victories are merely battles won, but the war within will always rage on.   I will never reach a point where my recovery is complete.  There is no graduation ceremony once I reach the top and no finish line at the end of this path.  This journey of sobriety is life long and I just look forward to the day when I can give back. Although, I must say being able to take that sunset cruise on a boat with an open bar and free flowing alcohol passed beneath my nose without taking a sip was quite empowering.  And I wouldn't recommend that exposure to anyone early in recovery. We all go at our own pace.  However it was a power that came from the Holy Spirit alone flowing through me.
Yes, I can celebrate that as I publish this I will be ten months (315 days) sober. I can celebrate this but while also keeping aware that any slip may be around the corner of the trail or a deceiving rock might lie ahead causing me to stumble. 
 So I move on. One battle at a time. One step at a time. 

And so there it is, nothing great or profound, just what God is doing in my life, reminding me to lean on Him when I feel like I am about to stumble or when the path appears rocky and unstable.  Trust God. He is the unchanging, stable foundation and He will make your paths straight!