FEARLESS

 

My first roller coaster ride happened on a Disney land trip with my family when I was around the age of 7.  I was left to spend most of the day with my mom and dad while my older teenage brother and sister went enjoying the park on their own each, with their invited friends.  So it was just me, mom and pops, the three musketeers  (or mouseketeers should I say).  This would be a common occurrence in the years that followed, as I was the youngest kid left after my brother and sister were out of the house.  I was very nervous and anxious about this scary roller coaster in the dark called space mountain. Since it only seated 2 in a row, my parents had the audacity to make me choose who I’d sit with.  It was like asking who was my favorite?!   I knew they both loved me and I don’t think I really had a favorite so it was a matter of choosing who was right for the job.  Now I was always daddy’s girl, always getting along, joking around and taking me places.  My mom was fun, but more firm and she always told it like it was, hardly kidding around.  So for a critical serious time such as this, I needed my mommy and chose her.  I hope my dad wasn’t too offended.  As the roller coaster reached its peak before the first dive, she must have seen the fear in my eyes and she turned my focus to the cool special effects of the stars in the ride. This illusion of being in space was actually pretty cool. Then she quoted a line from the movie ‘Annie’ and said ‘ a child without courage is like a night without stars’  This made me laugh and before I knew it we were zipping around in the dark, twisting and turning.  The fear immediately dissipated and turned into an exciting thrill and then suddenly the ride was over.  ‘Let’s go again!’ I’d yell and next time I’ll ride with dad.  

That was the first time I rode a roller coaster.  First times can be pretty scary.  

Like the first Christmas without a loved one after they passed.

Or the first Christmas without your child as they go do what God called them to be.

Or the first time (and hopefully last) suffering from a new viral illness. 

I happened to experience all of these this past month. 

There lies the fear of the unknown or fear of the future for what has happened in the past.  

On November 26, 2021, my mom lost her battle with cancer.  She would tell me she loved reading my blogs. She was sick a long time. I’m glad she’s not suffering anymore. But the shock of it is still with me and I will miss her so much. 

This month was also hard because our son Andrew was called to go on his first missions project to the Middle East and be gone for Christmas and New Years. He won’t be coming home for the holidays as we so anxiously expected as his first time being away from home in college. 

My husband, myself and two sons ended up being infected with covid. Praise God we are all slowly recovering.

All of these things can be scary. 

But we don’t have to be afraid because God is with us. 

Did you know that It says ‘do not fear’ 365 times in the Bible ?, coincidentally the same number of days in the year.   

I think it’s God’s way of telling us that he does not want us to live in fear.  

Fear is unhealthy and represents a mistrust in God to take care of our every need and not believing that He has good plans for us.  Fear limits us from what we are called by God to be.  

My word for the year 2021 was ‘Jesus’ so naturally I studied the gospel of Matthew.  I’m still using the Jen Wilken method of Bible study that I talked about in my first blog this year.  This year, I read James and just finished the 12th chapter of the gospel of Matthew using this method. Its taken me about a month to study each chapter.   At this rate, I should be able to complete the Bible (1,289 chapters)  in about 99 years. Yikes! Well maybe, I can pick up the pace when I’m retired or something.  No matter because the invested time in God’s Word has been so worth it.  The quality of study I get out of really diving deep into it is so rich compared to as if I just skimmed through or check listing off a daily devotional.  Again not that there’s anything wrong with daily devotionals. I still use those too.   But for my nitty gritty time real study time with God, I use that method.   I might share a little bit what God has revealed to me in my Matthew study this past year.  I also  started a Revelation study, only because I came across this great book and there seemed to be a lot more questions lately popping up about this book so I thought hey, lets add something else onto my already full and hectic schedule.   But when its for the Lord, he makes a way, seek him with all your heart,….. AND it sooo worth it. 

I feel that I am being led to take what I’ve learned and lead a bible study this year.  And with that said…

My word for the new year of 2022 is Fearless. They say courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment of that something else is more important than fear.  

So what does ‘Fearless’ mean to me? It means , that whatever I am afraid of, like leading a bible study, that  I’m putting my hope in something else more important, that is Jesus.   

My mom loved Jesus.   She also worried a lot, always thinking about everything, every one all the time.  I think that’s just how big her heart for others was. 

When she went in for what would be her last cancer treatment, she was anxious about being in the hospital, how it would turn out. 

When I was with her in the hospital at this time,  I’d read these bible verses with her to help. 

I wrote them down in this coloring book I bought from the hospital book shop.  The first verse happens to be from 2 Timothy 1:7. 

For God has not given us a spirt of fear, but of power, love, and of sound mind. 

This will be my memory verse for this month. 

Whenever you feel fear coming upon you, you can say this scripture.  That spirit of fear is NOT from God and its coming from the enemy. 

Yet in all that worry, my mom was not afraid to die.  Why? Because she knew she would see Jesus and she knew Jesus was with her through it all. 

You might find yourself in a situation that you did not ask for.   You might be in a scary place.   It is scary because of something that has happened to us in the past. Or it can be scary because we think of the what if’s and and all the things that can go wrong. We must remember that those are the lies that come from the enemy.  I can be afraid of losing my loved ones.  I might be afraid of all the things that can go wrong while my son is half way across the world on his mission trip.  I might be afraid of the next step where God is calling me to be.   Although, I am scared, I know Jesus is sitting right next to me in that rollercoaster ride.  He is supporting me with his presence.  He is speaking to me encouraging words  when I daily  read His Word.  He brings me joy, dissipating that anxiety into a thrilling ride.    Or maybe you might have someone else, friend, relative going through a scary time and God is calling you to sit with them in that ride for a bit?  And now its as if I’ve been called to sit next to my dad in this next season of a roller coaster ride. 

Remember, you can take your fears to God.  If you find yourself in anxious, scary times, here are some Bible verses to meditate on, the same I shared with my mom. 

He catches my tears and stores them in a jar.  -Psalm 56:8

Imagine the creator of heaven and earth, caring enough about you to catch your tears. 

When I am afraid, I will trust in you. -Psalm 56:3

Speak this aloud and declare your trust in Jesus. 

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, through prayer and petition, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will fill your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  -Philippians 4:7-9 

Anxious? Pray and ask God to help you. Pray and ask for his peace. 

He makes everything beautiful in its time.  -Ecclesiastes 3:11

You may be struggling with fear,  but one day when you are victorious-you will see how God has made this beautiful. 

Cast your cares on him, for he cares for you. -1Peter 5:7

Jesus the living God cares about you. Tell him how you feel, your needs, your hearts, he cares about you. 

Greater is He who is in me, than he who is in the world. -1John4:4

Christ is greater than the enemy.  Speak this scripture aloud when you feel you are being attacked by the evil one. 

He makes me lay down in green pastures; He leads me beside still waters -Psalm 23: 2

When we walk through difficult times, we don’t have to be afraid because we know who is with us-Jesus.  He promises to always be our comfort and protect when we walk through difficult trials. 

Thank you for letting me share. 

Hopeful girl, 

Janette

Grateful believer, sober for 2,365 days learning to live fearlessly in the presence of God. 

Dedicated to my mom, the most fearless person I know.