Searching and Reaching

WHAT ARE YOU SEARCHING FOR?

Lately,  I’ve been searching youtube videos on how to improve my swimming form,  so I can become a better, faster swimmer.

In my quest for this endeavor,  I invested in getting some professional help and actually paid for a swim lesson.   After all, it has been some time since I had any formal coaching (my swim class in college) and   I wanted to be sure my form was effective, especially if I wanted to increase my speed.   My experience in endurance from running enables me to swim for hours, but was I really fast?  My coach was the sports club director here in Koolina  and  a former triathlete himself.   After he’d seen me swim out and back at the lagoon, he immediately identified my problem.    I was not following through long enough in my stroke, or I was selling myself short so to speak.   In order to remedy this, he went through some drills and told me that I had to reach out further in my stroke.   He told me, with each stroke, imagine you are reaching out as far as you can as if you’re spearing a fish.   And so I did this, and slowly it began to change my form.   I will continue to practice these drills.  Not sure yet if it will make me a faster swimmer, but I’m promised it will make me an effective swimmer as I’m using every stroke, muscle and energy to the best of my ability to pull me along across the surface of the water and get  where I am supposed to go.

I  just completed the Duke’s  ocean mile swim in Waikiki  finishing faster than when I did it previously 2 years ago.   So I guess my one swim lesson is paying off.  But honestly, I didn’t go out there to win races, but more for the experience.    It was truly exhilarating just to be out there in the open ocean waters, seeing the fish and coral pass under me as I swam, braving the HUGE 2-3 foot waves above me.   I know that doesn’t sound big, but when I’m used to practicing swimming laps in the calm serene lagoon , they were.  And it WAS  some distance  out there, a mile to be exact.  Are we supposed to be past the surfers?   As I turned my head to see the surfers pass by on the way back, a sense of accomplishment washed over me that gave me the push to brave those last few hundred meters and  finish strong.   It was also such a blessing to be there with my son who I dragged out of bed to be my travel buddy.  And I was joined by my long time friend who happened to be visiting Oahu on vacation with her family.  Her husband, who is a swimmer decided to participate  too.  

The Race Koolina aquathlon is my next event and so the training continues, or my searching and reaching to perfect my form.     

At one point in my life, when I was in my 20s,  I was searching.  I was searching for the truth, or meaning in my life.  It was a confusing time for me.  I just moved out of the house, stared medical school, was in an unhealthy relationship all the while drowning in my addiction to ecstasy and the party scene.  At same time, I was searching. I was also reaching, reaching for something to fill the void in my life that I did not know I had at the time.  I decided that I wanted to read the Bible.   I wanted to read it for myself cover to cover.   It was my attempt to get at the truth once and for all,  after being raised in a church with strict rules, rituals, regulations,  that didn’t teach me to pick up and how to read the Bible.   I felt like my whole life up until that point I was being taught someone else’s interpretation of the bible and wanted to read it for myself and get MY interpretation.    I started attending a bible study group formed by other medical students in my class.  Yet, in my search for the truth and meaning, little did I know what impact it would have in my heart and life.   As I sought for  truth, trying to make sense of it all in my mind,  God's hand reached out to me.  Then I reached out to Him as I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart.   Still, my recovery journey continued.  I was in denial for some time, and  whenever I reached for the bottle, I’d end up drowning in guilt, despair. 

Later, as I reached for help, to the one that can only help me and turn my life toward God, I was saved from drowning. 

These are very confusing times right now.  Seems like we can’t go a day without hearing about some random acts of violence on the news.  With the recent events in El Paso and Ohio, seems like the fear, tension is rising in this country.   These things that happen sometimes, just don't make any sense.   How can God allow such evil in this world? Well that is a question in itself, but what are we doing to find the answer to that question? 

When our life gets confusing , stressful, we might find ourselves reaching for things in an attempt to find answers, make some sense of it all,  give us meaning, so that we might find comfort, peace, contentment, happiness.  

We reach for social media. We reach for food to get comfort.  We reach for material objects to bring us happiness. In all the madness, we might find ourselves reaching for anything. 

WHAT ARE YOU REACHING FOR?

Be careful what you reach for as it just may cause you a waste of unnecessary energy and you end up going nowhere. 

When I was deep in my addiction, I was reaching for alcohol.

When times get confusing and I don’t have all the answers,  I’d like to think of myself  searching and reaching for God as  I do  when I’m perfecting my stroke.
I search and reach to find a loving  God.  I reach for a merciful God who is in control to find Him still watching over me. 

My dear, there is only one that we need to be reaching for.   And there maybe times you don’t see him or feel God’s presence in your life, that doesn’t mean he is not there in the open ocean water with you. 

Only He can truly satisfy and take us where we need to be.   He keeps us swimming above the surface and saves us from drowning in all the madness of this life. 

He saved me from drowning in my addictions and He saves me today from drowning in my sorrow, depression, anxiety, stress.   Reaching and searching requires work, training , practice,  on our part. 

But we have a great coach on our side.  

Even though we don’t have all the answers and may never have , we can put our trust in Him to be there.  And that’s what keeps me searching,  reaching and  swimming towards Him. 

If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.  -Psalm 139:9 


-Grateful, hopeful believer, reaching and sober for 1,511 days. 

The following is to guide in your meditation.   I couldn't find a song I liked with the words, reaching in it, but this song seems to speak perfectly, if you just replace the words, 'holding on' with 'reaching out'.  :-)