Press On

I’m late!  For the first time in 4 years, since I started writing this blog, I was late in posting my blog.    I’ve  usually been on schedule posting a summary of my ramblings at  least once a month.   It got me flustered at first, being the overachiever and control freak that I am.  Yes, still working on those character flaws or shall I say God is working on me. Yet, as you can see, instead of giving up, I decided to press on.  

I can make lots of excuses for being late: oh the general business of life, work, but honestly I’ve been really struggling with just getting motivated. 

Perhaps going through a little slump, just burnt out.   It caused me to reflect.  Where does that lack of motivation come from? Fatigue? Laziness? fear, lack of trust, worldly distractions?   I confess yes, to all of those! 

I might have mentioned in my earlier blogs, about my running injury.  I confess I have not refrained from running completely like I said I should.   Doctors can be the worst patients, go figure.    But I HAVE been decreasing my miles and slowing my pace.   And starting to incorporate swim work outs.  I try not to get discouraged by this,  realizing my body is not the same as it was a few years back.  The years and miles are starting to take a toll.  Will I ever get back to that previous pace and shape I was in?    At the last pineapple run, my annual tradition, I told myself I’m running for fun, not going for my best time,  so I wouldn’t go all out as to worsen my injury even more.   The run WAS comfortable and fun for me, but   towards the end I can feel that nagging pain in my right hamstring preventing me from running the pace that I usually could.   

As I  turned the last corner,  the finishing line clock came into view.   I knew I had to sprint for the finish just so I can still make it in under an hour.  It was just a counter of time, but as soon as it came in view, it gave me a goal, some kind of hope and  just enough energy to keep pressing and finishing strong. 

So how do I get out of this slump or how DID  I get out of it I should say?  How do you keep going when life’s got you down? 

When the going gets tough, and you just don’t feel tough enough to get going?   When life gets overwhelming or painful, what do you look to in order to finish the race strong? 

As several things discouraged me this past month, God revealed to me a few things to help me find the strength to PRESS on.   In true Celebrate Recovery and pastor style, I’ll use an acrostic here. 

1. The first letter P is for Pretend.  That is to STOP Pretending!  Its ok to not be ok!   This may involve letting go of another P.  Didn't you know? Holding it is not only bad for your bladder but bad for your soul.   I’m talking about Pride here.  You don’t have to have it all together. So what if I didn’t get my blog out in time , did anyone notice?  And so what if I’m not running my fastest time as I was when I was 40. At least, I’m getting out there.  Taking the steps, one day at a time.  I remembering one time crying before going into church.  I was crying because I was having such a horrible week.  I knew I was about to go into a church where people would be friendly, happy and smiling and that was the last thing I wanted to or even muster up the strength to pretend doing.  It seems silly when I look back on it now, but it reminds me that with Jesus we don’t have to pretend.  And if you think you need to be put together or have it all together just to go to church, think again sister friend!   That is not what church is for.   Jesus says healthy people don’t need a doctor-sick people do.   He invites us as as we are.  There was another day when I came home late after. driving 2 hours in traffic and I still had to cook dinner.  My husband was at the door greeting me with arms open, when all I felt like doing was rush to start dinner and be in a grumpy mood.  But darn him, he didn’t let me.  So I just hugged him back and cried like a baby letting my frustrations out.  And I think that’s what Jesus wants us to do, just come to him rest in His arms, cry if you have to.  It’s ok!

2.  R is for Rest and Reach out. Sometimes you need to take a break, like I am in my running.  Right?  But really, some times we need to rest.   I’m still working on that rest part though.  My husband says I always have to be doing something.  I am a fully confessed MARTHA.  I admit it.  Hey, I am a work in progress. Its important to remember here that its ok to ask for help! Don’t rob someone else of the blessing of helping you. 

3. E is for Express.  Express yourself to God.  Spend some time in his presence everyday and in that time,  ask what His will is rather than what you want to do.   Ask God for the revelation only He can give.  He will be faithful to show you what you need to see.  Learn from the pain you suffered and allow it to be a trigger for change instead of a set back that keeps you trapped in the same place.   Now that I have cut back on my runs, I was able to get spend some quality time in with my family. 

My mom who is all the way on the mainland, told me something this morning.  She says, ‘I like it when you call me every day because it makes you feel like you’re close’.   I think that’s the way it is in our prayer life with God.  Talk to Him and pray often and He is always close! 

2. S is for Staying  focused.  Ask yourself, what am I placing my hope or trust on? 

Whenever I get discouraged, frustrated, I have to ask myself, what am I placing my hope on? My trust on?  I was faced with a couple of financial challenges this month and needless to say, they DID frustrate me.  But I  found myself putting my trust on a perfectly balanced household budget and good credit.    Those things are great but fleeting God is the only one who can provide. 

When I was at my  8th grade Catholic school retreat,  I received a special message from God.  My classmates and I were all given this special gift.  These gifts were laid out on a table in the front of the room and we all took turns picking them out. They were all the same shape, wrapped in tissue paper.   We were all told to come to the table one by one and randomly choose a package.   As we started unwrapping , it came to reveal they were all posters, but each poster was unique with its own inspirational quote meant only for the person that chose it.  Mine had a picture of a kitten climbing a rope, with the quote, 

‘when I go as far as I can, Christ takes me the rest of the way.’   

At the time this quote gave me encouragement and I would often fall back to it when I was struggling with my studies or in my cross country races.  Not unlike my life verse, ‘ I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.’  (Philippians 4:13)  Yet, somewhere along the way I left out the ‘through Christ’ part as my controlling nature and overachiever tendencies took over.   It’s important to keep Christ involved in all we do.   Stay focused! 

Those moments in my life when I went as far as I could and Christ took me the rest of the way, I realized that He was always there to begin with, the whole time. 

4.  The last S is for Suck it up!  Suck it up and give it up to God.   We don’t want to, but sometimes we just have to do it.  Yet, we don’t have to lose hope.    I recently had an unpleasant encounter in the parking lot at the local Wal-Mart with another driver.   This Wal Mart shopper seemed a little upset by my process of parking my car which led her to pull up beside my car, roll down the window and let the expletives fly.   This was with my two older boys in the back seat mind you so I tried best to maintain my composure.   As I tried to apologize, I can see the flames of rage igniting higher and higher behind her eyes with her arms flailing about threatening to throw a bottle at me.   I soon realized  there is no talking to a person in this state of mind while at the same time regretting rolling down the window in the first place and not driving away.      I was a little shaken up by this angry customer who ruined my Walmart experience.  But God is so good!   You know why?  He provided the perfect outlet for me to give it all back to him.   As we left, the store, there was a Women’s Ministry at the entry way asking for donations.  As I made my donation, I was provided with a clipboard to sign my name followed by a prayer request.   So here’s to you-'the angry woman in the Walmart parking lot',  a donation made to the Women’s ministry in your name, whatever that me be.  You're welcome!  

So don’t let life get you down.  Don’t lose hope!   Suck it up and give it up because we have the promise of Christ to look forward to now and in the future.   Remember,  his timing is perfect. I didn’t give up on writing this blog post.   For some special reason, God wanted it to go out at this time for His purpose.  Well now I know we were just waiting for that wonderful Walmart experience to share. 

SPECIAL REQUEST!

Looking ahead, with all that said, I did sign up for the duke’s ocean fest mile swim and Race Ko’olina Aquathlon so those will be my future races.  I may share my journey in training for these in my upcoming blogs.   However, I do feel God is pulling me to turn this blog in a different direction, but not sure how which brings me to my special request. 

Please, please. let me know what you would like to hear from me or any questions that you may have, could be in any area , medicine, health, spirituality,  christianity  or personal or anything.  Please let me know in the comments section.  

Mahalo for letting me share.  

-HOPEful girl, Janette

Sober for 3 years, 10 months and 28 days.