just wait and see
My name is Janette and I am a grateful believer in Christ who struggles with waiting in line at the store. Its the end of July which means if you live in Hawaii and have kids, time to be getting ready for school. My recent trip to Target found myself with a cart full of school supplies that nearly shoved out the rest of the other week’s food items. I like to say I usually have ‘good luck’ or knack for picking out the good check out lines which enable me to leave quickly. Today, I find a line with only one person if front of me who was already paying for their items. All I had to do was unload by big cart and I’d be out of there in a flash. Unfortunately, it was not that simple. It took so much longer than I thought. I had already unloaded all my items onto the conveyor belt when the cashier told me the person in front of me will be applying for a credit card and it will take longer. No problem, I really didn’t have any where else to go after this, no appointments. Yet as the minutes, seconds passed by for what seemed like an eternity, I found myself struggling. Master line chooser FAIL! I texted my husband on the phone describing my dismay at the whole situation. It also helped pass the time away and simmer down my brewing impatience. I should probably just go find another line, but that means having to pick up all my items I’ve already emptied from my cart. I CLEARLY chose the WRONG line. I don’t know how many minutes it took but it seemed a life time. The people behind me were smart enough to pass this register by and therefore there was no one waiting in line behind me. There was no one to talk to, no where to go. Now what am I supposed to do? I am a person always on the go and when my body isn’t constantly moving my mind is. Now God has called me to this moment in time to do the inevitable, tortuous, oh please say it ain't so, and ……..wait. Just wait?!
Tom Petty spoke the truth when he sang, the waiting is the hardest part because IT IS.
Why do I struggle? Maybe its because I am used to multi-tasking. I used to pride myself on multi tasking often claiming to be a master multi-tasker. And with my husband now going back to work, I have to be more on top of my game. However, I recently learned at this last medical conference I attended that multi tasking is actually detrimental to the brain and can lead to early onset dementia. Wait a minute. Doing more than one task at the same time can be bad? I say this facetiously but I still do it. You might be guilty too. And there is nothing wrong with being organized. I am learning what I thought to be this great quality may actually be a character flaw that causes me to struggle with waiting. That's right. It comes from that sinful, prideful tendency of wanting to be in control.
Waiting may seem like a void of nothing in the time continuum of life but there is actually a lot going on in the waiting. It is in that very period , feelings of discouragement and doubt may start to creep in. I clearly chose the wrong line. We start to think that maybe we can do a better job if we just do it ourselves and we don’t have to wait anymore. I should just go to another lane already. I am guilty of this and not just at the check out line at target. The devil loves to tempt us in these moments with these fears and doubts. But don’t take the devil’s bait! Just wait!
I'd like to take a moment to talk about these types of bait. The first is doubting God's will. Sometimes I question, when things don't work out in life, is it God’s will for me to do this in the first place? We’re so easy to give up and get discouraged.
I'd like to take a moment to talk about these types of bait. The first is doubting God's will. Sometimes I question, when things don't work out in life, is it God’s will for me to do this in the first place? We’re so easy to give up and get discouraged.
For various reasons, our celebrate recovery ministry at our church, the one I had looked so much forward to has come to a halt. It is tempting in this time to wonder was this God’s will in the first place? I must hold on to the truth that God has a plan and a purpose. And wait for his guidance in the waiting. I also think of my patients waiting for test results which can be the worst form of waiting ever.
The way my summer turned out is an example. Last year, I had planned to spend this summer really seeking after God’s will. You know, doing real ministry godly stuff. I planned to go to my medical evangelism training conference in June and Celebrate Recovery summit in August. These are spiritually filled events that you would think God would just open the doors that would allow me to go. But God had other plans. I would not be able to take the time off of those dates. Instead, I made a trip out to see my parents while taking my youngest son to California to spend time for the summer with his aunty, uncle and cousin. While I was visiting, I was able to meet with my mom, dad, brother and sister for lunch. There we were, all five of us together without our kids or spouses. I can not remember the last time we were all together like that as a family. It really was a blessed time catching up and enjoying the moment that only God can orchestate. I could not have planned this better myself.
Bible story time!
I've been reading in my 'chapter a day' plan about the Israelites journey into the promised land. 'Whenever the cloud lifted over the sacred tent, the people of Israel would break camp and follow it. And wherever it the cloud settled, the people of Israel would set up camp'. -Numbers 9:17
The Israelites had to watch for God’s guidance. My daily, monthly, yearly planner controlling mind can only imagine that this could not have been easy as they sometimes had to wait for months or alternatively, being ready to move after a few days notice. The Israelites had to stay alert, trusting God's guidance. How often am I staying alert for God to move me in my life? or am I just rushing ahead getting caught up in the worry and stress of my own plans?
The lady in front of me was finally done. Yes, my turn! The tension in my body was easing down now as I felt my muscles loosen up. The cashier thanked me for waiting and after all that inner turmoil in waiting, I was actually able to give back a friendly smile. I was pleasantly surprised as she bagged my items in such an efficient manner. Time seemed to be moving a long faster now. This balloon of relief and elation was quickly popped when after the cashier scanned my items, looked up at me and said, ‘Oh you’re just getting school supplies now? There was a sale two weeks ago.’ I couldn’t see the expression I had on my face back at her but I imagine it must have been a mix of restrained frustration and forced politeness that can only produce a some sort of deranged smile flashing back a manic countenance. I consciously made an effort to push down these manic feelings and temptation to blurt out ‘Why would you tell me that?!!’ Instead, I kept forcing a smile back in silence. She must of had some sense of this as she replied, ‘oh well, maybe next time’. I don’t know. I paid and when she handed me back the receipt, I kept smiling, took a deep breath, thought for a moment and genuinely said, ‘thank you', thank you for working so hard’. She smiled back, ‘you’re welcome’. Moments before, I was certain I had picked the wrong line, but that smile on her face was just the confirmation I needed that in fact, I did not. Yes, waiting can be hard, but God’s plan is perfect.
What are you waiting for? Do not get discouraged and take heart, because God will bless you in his timing. Stay alert. We must be determined to strengthen our faith by trusting his timing.
‘The waiting is the hardest part. Every day you see one more card. You take it on faith , you take it to the heart, The waiting is the hardest part’. -Tom Petty
‘And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart’. -Galations 6:9
Dont take the bait, just wait! -Janette Brunken
thank you for letting me share! -hopeful girl, sober for 3 years, 2 weeks and 4 days. Hopeful for one day more.
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