but now am found

Life can sometimes feel as if you’re stuck in a rut.  I wake up, exercise, go to work, pick up kids from school, make dinner maybe get some time alone with husband in the evening if not, myself, then go to bed and start the next day all over again.   I look forward to the weekends and dread Mondays.  I do love my job, but sometimes I fear the dreaded “B’ word—burn out.   I’m too young and have so  much to be grateful for to be in that phase in life.  Is it inevitable? Does it have to be?  I don’t want to believe so.  Numerous surveys have shown that over 50% of physicians in the United States experience burn out.   As I face the daily challenges in my work place, I see lots of areas that can be changed.  I try not to get frustrated by the faults I see in the system of health care delivery.  I find myself asking, does it really have to be this way?   Have I lost my passion?  Have I forgotten my purpose? 

My mind is constantly swirling with concerns of my world like, work, kids, expenses, kid’s assignments, bills, my mom’s health, and whatever new tasks that pop up like getting my son’s computer fixed.  Oh and did I mention I managed to lose my wedding ring!  Where did I leave it? This is awful. 

I go back to remembering what I love most about my job-my patients, serving them.    Its so easy to let these concerns make me forget the real reason why I’m here.  

I try not to get frustrated, give it up to God and pray for a better day.  There are two examples from Scripture that God has whacked me in the head with with this week to snap me out of my moody funk.    The first is Joseph,  and the other is the woman at the well. 

My chapter a day bible reading this month has taken me to the story of Joseph and his brothers.  I’ve heard it millions of times in bible school.  But as I'm reading it lately, I realize what a rich, powerful emotional  story of conflict, forgiveness, acclamation and resolution it really is.   Here was Joseph who seemed to have every reason to be mad at God and the world.  He was sold as a slave and taken to this foreign land of Egypt.  God rose him to in status  and just when he was doing everything right as a faithful servant could, he gets wrongly accused and sent into prison.  Yet, he still remains faithful and obedient to God through all this. 

Then his brothers finally meet him.  At this point, you'd think he'd finally get to have some payback, but Joseph has been brought to a mature point in his life.  He forgives them by saying it is God who has sent him there for a purpose, to save their lives.  I feel as if God is preparing me in this place, not to get mad at the world or my situation, but a time will come when God will use me in this place or the next to serve in a mighty way.

  

Last time I remember having my wedding ring on was when I was cooking.  I sometimes take it off in the kitchen and put it in my pocket. I last had it on Sunday.   That’s when I usually cook ‘big breakfast’ for the family.   The only day I can cook up bacon, eggs, and waffles, pancakes or French toast.  But I wasn’t wearing any clothes with pockets that day. So where could it be? 

Sometimes when we’re at this place of frustration, boredom or entitlement, we may not realize that there is something up ahead that is so much better.  This is like the woman at the well.  I invite you read John 4: 1-30 if you're following along please.  Jesus says , ‘Look lady, I’ve got some good stuff for you.  If you only knew the great gift God has for you, you would ask.  I have something so much better’.  When she asked Jesus to give her this water where she will never have to be thirsty again and go back to the well, I think of me looking for the easy answer or way out when the answer is sitting right in front of me.  Then Jesus sees right through her.   We might try to hide things from others about ourselves but Jesus knows us so well and there’s no hiding anything from him. Jesus says ‘I am the Messiah’.  I am the one you’ve been looking for!   We can come to him for anything in prayer. 

My mind is reaching, reaching every crevice for some hint of where I might have left my ring.  My husband vacuumed, but would’ve heard some hard object sucked up.  We’ve searched the couch, floor, kitchen drawers. I pray.   It has to show up somewhere so what do I do? Just wait and trust in God that it will show up. 

You might be in a place that seems hopeless. Or  you might feel like you’re stuck in a rut or unjustly not getting what you deserve.

No Matter where you are in life or may have hurt there is hope and a chance.  

Remember, Jesus cares, he knows you and he listens.  

God is preparing you for something so much better.   

I had the opportunity recently to do my morning work out a little bit later than I usually do so I was able to see the sunrise on my walk back from the gym. 

As I closed the eyes and felt the warm rays of the sunrise beaming back onto my face, I also felt God speaking to me/surrounding me with a warm hug.  

If I only stopped still enough to realize this access and power we have that we hardly tap into.  

So I proceed to make ‘big breakfast’ the next Sunday morning.  Reach to put my wonder woman apron on and ‘pling!’ Goes my wedding rings, band and all on the floor.  It just showed up.  I guess Wonder Woman was keeping it safe for me.   Thank you Jesus! 

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change. The courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; ...

-Hopeful girl, sober for 2 years, 8 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days,...hopeful for another day more.