the cure for a disease
The biggest disease today is not tuberculosis or leprosy but the feeling of being unwanted.
-Mother Teresa
I came across this quote the other day. I can easily exchange the words tuberculosis and leprosy with cancer and heart disease and I think the quote will still ring true. I can also exchange the word, 'unwanted' with the feeling of loneliness or unloved and it will STILL ring true.
Can this really be true today? The fact is, we all cling for attention. Isn't that what we do anyway, through our Facebook, Instagram and social media. We all just want someone to hear our voice so that we can feel wanted, accepted. Yet, in a time when we are more socially connected through digital media, most are still feeling unwanted, or lonely.
Further more, is the feeling of being unwanted a disease? I think it can be. When I think of the underlying issues of most mental health conditions such as anxiety, depression, addiction, I believe so. Mental health conditions incidence is at an all time high.
According to mental health America statistic, youth mental health is worsening. 'Rates of youth with severe depression increased from 5.9% in 2012 to 8.2% in 2015. Even with severe depression, 76% of youth are left with no or insufficient treatment'
The increasing incidence of substance use parallels this as well.
I see this everyday in my practice. The root of most symptoms of anxiety, depression contain some form of loss or hurt in the past, perhaps leaving that person feeling unwanted. If this is true , then the feeling of being unwanted is not just a disease, its an epidemic.
So going back to my first question. Despite all the advances in technology to connect people, we are still feeling unloved and unwanted today. This may or may not present itself in the form of some mental health disorder, such as anxiety, depression or substance abuse.
My recovery story --
I felt unwanted for a long time, trying to find fulfillment and acceptance in trying to be someone else that I wasn't. I used alcohol to make me into that person who people would like, a person that I would like. I looked for acceptance in drugs, bad relationships, parties. I felt wanted , but it was an illusion, fleeting feeling that left me feeling even lonelier than before.
The first step in recovery is to accept God and Jesus as my higher power, but now I am coming to realize that I didn't really know God for who he really is. I needed to trust in a God who loves me and not a 'god' of this world who seeks to only deceive and destroy. I admit, there are times when I try to make God into something he is not. Namely someone who can not take care of my problems and I attempt to fix problems on my own. This is what Paul was trying to explain when he was preaching to a council of philosophers in Athens referring to an inscription they had on their altar--'to an Unknown God'. He was trying to explain who God really is. I feel like this was me for a long time, following an unknown God. Paul continues to explain that our God is the creator of this world, heaven and earth, who gives life and provides us with all of our needs. He is not far, but very close and He loves us, wants to be near to us. The fact is, God listens to us and always has our attention. If the feeling of unwanted is a disease, then that my dear brother/sister is the medicine to cure it! If you don't believe me, that's ok. Some of those philosophers didn't believe either, just laughed and walked away, but you can read for yourself if you just open the bible to that passage.
And my prayer is that your heart will be opened to this truth as well.
Accept yourself for who you are as God created you and what he wants you to be. God loves us as we are, as we need to accept God for who he is instead of insisting on creating him in our own image.
But wait there's more. As we try to seek temporary fulfillment in being wanted and liked in the unknown gods of this world, God is also asking for our attention. He has been trying to get your attention because he has something special for you and wants to have a relationship with you. I pray that you will be open to ways that God may be trying to get your attention. So that you will never have to feel unwanted ever again.
In honor of the late Billy Graham, I stumbled upon this gem of the reverend speaking on technology, faith and human shortcomings. Its about 27 minutes but so worth it, please enjoy.
https://youtu.be/90mj79GqWhc
This blog post is dedicated to
My Uncle Mike who recently passed away. Distance keeps me from attending his services, but the memory of him fills my head and my prayers are with my cousins who survive him. He was also my Nino (godfather) and wife to my Nina, godmother Hope who is the inspiration for the title of this blog. He was the father of 3 boys, my cousins who I'd spent so many summer days with. He also loved Hawaii and wanted to settle down here someday. Now he gets to be some place so much better. Until we meet again Nino, Aloha and God bless.
Mahalo for letting me share! -Hopeful girl, sober for 2 years, 7 months and one week, Hopeful for another day more.
Aloha Janette
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for the loss of your Uncle Mike for your family. Even though he has changed his address for a better one (as Billy Graham used to say) there is still a hole in your hearts where you miss him.
I agree with you about mental health and the search for happiness outside of yourself. Michael and I have changed our entire routine this year to begin and end our day together with God in prayer and devotions. It has changed the face of our marriage. Tusen Tak (thank you) for sharing your heart.
thank you!
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