Sept 2016

It's taken me awhile to get this issue out  because I've felt like I've been attacked this month.    I attribute part of it to being sick which caused me to be out of work for  almost a week.   When I was sick I just did not feel motivated to do anything, much less put out this blog.  This also has set me back in my training.  Honestly, who runs 2 marathons in a year?   Sickos!  I'm starting to think with this and the fundraising that maybe I bit more off more than I can chew. Lots of doubts starting to sink in.  This week ,as  I finally felt like I was getting my endurance back up, I then sprained my calf which was frustrating to say the least. 
However, September is here and school is back in session.  And I believe there is always something to be learned from everything.  So what have I learned? 
Well, I recently had the opportunity to go back to school so to speak.  I attended a leadership training for Celebrate Recovery (CR).   This is a Christian based 12 step program and its not only for recovering addicts but for anyone with hang ups, like no one has any hang ups right?  This was not my first experience with CR.   My first experience was over ten years ago when I was trying to overcome my addiction to ecstasy and every other drug that came with the rave scene.  I'll never forget the powerful experience and the bonds of friendship that formed out of that time at CR.  God used that to bring me out of a dark place.  I soon became busy with life-being a mom, and as my training in residency began I was unable to continue going to meetings.   I never did finish the steps, but it didn't matter I was certain I would never use again as I was growing out of that scene.  But the devil is so sneaky.  Alcohol was ok because its not like a drug and I can drink with other like minded professionals and I had it all under control,  most times.  We we know where that story goes, But God's grace is so good!  Because He has brought CR back into my life again!  And maybe this time I'll complete the steps.  
And God's grace is so funny!  Because He has not only managed to bring it back into my life but also did it by calling me to be a leader?!!   That's right. My church is committed to get Celebrate Recovery ministry started so hence the CR leadership training.  So one thing I learned while at the training is that I not only struggle with alcohol, but I struggle with addiction and I need to take ownership of that.   I need to take ownership of God taking ownership of ALL my weaknesses and hangups!  This is something that will always be with me, but I will continue to be a hopeful believer in Jesus Christ in getting me through.  


My youngest son starts kindergarten this year and although he's been to preschool, it's still quite a transition. It's a whole new world for him, The biggest challenge these early weeks  is to get him to focus with his young fiver year old attention span. And who can blame him?  
This whole world is full of distractions! So many things calling for our attention. 
Life can be tough especially when we lose focus of who we are Or where we should be. How do we keep our focus on Jesus? How do we even know what should be our focus? What is the race that God has set before you?
When I first started this, I was so motivated, so excited. Now that I'm sick, I'm trying not to let the doubts get the best of me.  When I was sick I did not feel close to God but I know He was always there watching over me.


I've trained for many races. One piece of  advice I've heard and try to follow is to 'run your own race'.

So that is what I will do. Run the race that God has set before me, one step at a time. 

Sober for 446 days, hopeful for another day more.